Come and rest here.

If you've lived in this world long enough, it will probably be fairly easy for you to recall a time when you've felt overwhelmed and wanted nothing more than to just be held. If you aren't the touchy feely type, your desire might have been to just have someone spend time with you. You didn't really want to hear words of advice or answer questions, you just wanted a little rest and to know that someone was there for you.

...

I am typically the type of person to tend toward being a perfectionist and holding in emotions until they can no longer be held in. There are upsides and downsides to both of those. On one hand, I am great at school, work, and any other projects that may arise in life. I get tasks done quickly and efficiently. On the other hand, I sometimes have a hard time with social things. I become focused on the doing and forget about the feeling or the trusting.

I think there are two types of people in this world. The type to take breaks and slowly, but surely accomplish goals... and the type to push through quickly and deal with the destruction later. I am the latter of the two. Do you remember the popular children's tale of "The Tortoise and the Hare"? I would be the "hare." My speed and determination can be extremely effective, but it can also be very unhealthy. It often leads to moments like the one described in the beginning of this post.

Within the past six months or so, God's been showing me it doesn't need to be this way and teaching how to find rest and experience peace. I want to share with you some of the simple little things that help me:

1. Listen to God's words of encouragement and security.

When I'm struggling with something, I go to BibleGateway.com and search relevant words or phrases. This may seem super simple, but it's actually been so unbelievably helpful.

Searching for rest:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

"When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."  - Psalm 94:18-19

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." - Exodus 14:14

This was something fun I found when doing this and comparing versions of the topic of perfectionism:

Psalm 18:32 
"It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." (NIV) 
"God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect." (NLT) 

2 Samuel 22:33 
"It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." (NIV) 
"God is my strong fortress, and he makes my way perfect." (NLT)

Both verses talk about God being the one to give us strength and making our way "perfect" or "secure." It's an interesting replacement word, don't you think? In my prayers that day, I felt God telling me that my future is secure in Him and He is the only way anything I ever do with be anything near "perfect." It's not my works, my worries, or my fixes, but His perfect plans.

2. Take a break.

Give yourself the night off!

But you have chores to do, papers to write (or grade), projects to complete? I would venture to say this is probably the biggest issue that prevents us from experiencing peace and rest. We have this idea that the world will stop if we aren't constantly moving in some way. I am in no way saying to abandon all responsibilities. But, honestly, if you give yourself a break, even just for an hour, your work is going to be so much better anyways. Those papers/chores/kids/etc will be there in an hour, I promise. If you don't have an hour, even five minutes is better than nothing.

As a teacher and life-long student, there are plenty of studies I could show you on the merits of incorporating small breaks into your studying time or lectures to increase true productivity and retention. A quick Google search should satiate your curiosity, if you need citations.

Some of my favorite ways to take a break:

Art is such a fun outlet for me. If you're not an artist, you don't have to show anyone your work!

Coloring. Yep. Like coloring books. There are actually coloring books being made marketed towards adults now, featuring more complex designs rather than Disney characters. Personally, I would much prefer the kids books. #noshame

Read a book.

 
Find a random documentary on Netflix. [I recommend the one on "Tiny Houses"!]

Go for a run. Do some Zumba. Pick things up and put them down.

Go old school! Dust off your favorite game on N64 or SNES and see if your sweet skills are still there! Sidenote: Tony Hawk Pro Skater is my game, and yes, I am still great at it.

Go even more old school and play some board games! If you live anywhere near Plymouth, MI, there is a board game lounge downtown called 3&Up that is really just fantastic for this.

3. Spend some time with God.

This is different than #1. Searching God's word and letting Him speak to you in that way is great! But spending time with God can also be just finding a quiet space, maybe listening to music, and talking with God. Or letting yourself be quiet and restful enough to hear Him speak.

Think back to when you were a kid. Although you probably valued your new found "independence" and wanted to spend much of your time playing alone, there were probably also times when you wanted to come back to your anchor and spend time with your parent(s). Especially when things got rough.

My three year old nephew is the biggest little ball of pure energy I've ever experienced. He wants to do everything on his own and he wants to do it on his terms. But the moment he gets hurt or sad or sick, he immediately wants mom (or dad or grandma). He wants words of encouragement that things will be okay, but more so he just wants their touch and their presence. He wants to be held and feel that he is loved.

This is what spending time with God is like for me. It's saying, "God, here are the things on my heart. Give me reassurance of your love and perfect will. Tell me it's going to be okay, and that if it's not, you're here to hold me anyways."

A couple of my favorite songs (sort of) on the topic:
Hold me near - Enter the worship circle

Here - Kari Jobe

4. Act like a kid! 

This is actually probably just a combination of the others I've mentioned. Kids are just such great examples of trust and dependence. Children don't worry about perfection because they know their parents are there to help them and fix their mistakes. Actually, they typically don't worry at all; they play. They ask questions, earnestly seeking the answers (see #1). They don't spend too much time doing one thing before they want to take a break and move on to something different (see #2). They love spending time with their parents (#3). If you're trusting God and not constantly trying to make everything perfect, you get to act like a kid!

Sometimes that means silencing your inner perfectionist to stay up until 4am on a work night just walking around Meijer, talking about nothing "productive" (at least in the obvious ways) or not letting yourself be too worried about what the landlords would think to build a giant fort the size of your living room.

I've found that trusting fully in God's provision for my life allows me to experience the joy and peace of a wholly dependent child. I'm not fighting to control things or constantly grasping, trying to hold onto things on my terms. We think being an adult means being serious about everything and feeling the responsibility to make everything "good," even though that's never really the way God intended it to be. God wants to take care of things for us. He has the plans for our lives and sees them plotted out in front of Him. Struggling and trying to make things happen when I want them is never going to make anything better

So I get to just trust Him, seek His will, and enjoy the ride, knowing He's taking care of everything :)

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" - Matthew 6:26

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what i don't deserve...

I do not deserve a handsome, kind, gentle, loving man who wakes me up every morning with sweet, heartfelt words in text messages and prays over me every time we say goodbye. I do not deserve a patient, encouraging, supportive friend who sings to me, holds me, and talks to God with me during my times of struggle and confusion.

I do not deserve a fellowship with a full ride, stipend, and benefits to a doctorate program.

I do not deserve to make a real and meaningful difference in my career path.

I do not deserve all of the opportunities I've been given throughout my life.

I do not deserve God's life-giving, awe-inspiring, unrelenting grace and forgiveness. I do not deserve to live while Jesus had to die.

...

Lately I've been thinking a lot about our pasts and how that relates to our now. 

The other night, Jack and I had a conversation about this trying to reconcile our thoughts and understand what God really thinks. I've been under this understanding that our past is our past; we sin and we are forgiven. But as humans, the "forgive but don't forget" mantra is so deeply engrained in our minds that it is almost impossible to see life without our past mistakes. We know we are forgiven. We know we are changed. But our past is still a part of us, right? I've been thinking that who I am today is because of the things I've been through and what I've had to overcome. That I am better able to connect with others because of those things. That there is value in my past because it provides me with perspective.

But God says that our sins are erased; they are as far from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). [see Jack's post on the topic] "There is now no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

Well those are completely different ideas. Either our past is good or our past is removed from us. It can't be both. I was struggling with which was the truth. So in our conversation the other night, we talked about the differences and similarities, and asked God what He thought.

Here's the thing:

I was living as if I am still a burden. Like God has forgiven me because He has to, not because He wants to; like my sins are forgiven, but not forgotten. That's just not true!

My sins and my mistakes were not good. They never will be. The only reason my past has any value at all is because it is a constant reminder of God's infinite, incomprehensible, undeserved grace. I don't deserve any of the things I've been blessed with. But because God is my dad and I am His favorite (and you are too), He wants to lavish me with love. I am His daughter and He loves me. It doesn't make sense to us because we live in this world and things are not that simple here, but my sins are gone. They are deleted. It's like a canvas miraculously made blank and ready to display a brand new masterpiece.

Because I am forgiven, because God has deleted all those things I've done and sees me as pure and innocent, He gets to just pour out His love on me. I still do not deserve all of the amazing things He does for me, but He sees me as worthy. I'm not a burden that He just has to forgive, but His daughter that He wants to forgive and He does so willingly.

The parable of "the Good Shepherd" is one you are probably familiar with. Jesus says, "I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." - John 10:9-11

But just a few verses further down is what sticks out to me today. He says, "No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again.” John 10:18
 
He chose to lay down His life for us. He didn't have to, but He wanted to!  

He sees us as His own and He sees us as valuable and worthy (Matthew 10:29-31). He is pleased to give us His kingdom (Luke 12:32), He wants to give us good gifts (Matthew 7:9-11), He would trade all of creation for us (Isaiah 43:2-4), and He tells us we are no longer "wandering exiles" but are now being built into His holy temple in which God is at home (Ephesians 2:19-22). All we have to do is believe in Him (John 3:16). If you are a believer and follower of Christ, you are forgiven. You are made new! You are a blank canvas, ready to display God to others, not because of your past, but because of God's incomprehensible, infinite, amazing love and grace.

It's like this... Do you have any of those moments from when you were a kid that you sometimes look back on and cringe so hard about? Maybe you teased someone in middle school or yelled a little too hard at the dog or let a fish die because you forgot to feed it for a week. Something will trigger these memories and you can still feel that pain so vividly. It's like you are right back there, experiencing it all over again. Typically we brush it off as "I was just a kid and I didn't realize what I was doing" or something along those lines. But if you've ever let that thought linger, and think about what you could've done differently, it can easily ruin your day (or week). This is what it's like when you refuse to let God completely remove those sins from your life. They could be gone. They are gone. 

Deleted. 
Wiped clean.  
Forever erased.

You don't have to let your past sins speak words of pain and death and sorrow to your heart. 

You are God's now. Choose to hear His words that bring life and hope and joy. You are forgiven.

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